i am more present these days than i have been in a long, long time. my focus is no longer on defining myself, and because of that i feel more centered than ever. more than anything i know that things are impermanent, that i can't cement my beliefs, and that i shouldn't expect to discover some magical rules for my life that i can hold on to forever.
i want so much less than i did at the start of this summer. a few days ago i was walking with empty pockets, no wristwatch on, no money, no makeup, and i don't even remember where i was going but i remember feeling very free and very unburdened and very good. sometimes when i have very little i realize that i have everything i need.
i was saying to chetan today - "sorry to sound like dorothy from the wizard of oz" - that there really is no place like home. i know that eventually there will be a moment when i miss these people and these streets and these nights again, even if it's not as bad as it was last year. at the same time i know that being at school again is going to be so good for me. this is the best possible timing. i feel like i didn't think enough this summer because work took up all of my time, and i just want to dive right into philosophy, history, literature. i am ready for mornings of class, afternoons of reading, and nights of writing in bed until i can't even keep my eyes open.