jess (rainpaint) wrote,

  • Music:

just change my life, change my life, change my life, change my life

i find myself consciously trying to loosen my grip on the things i believe. during discussions in philosophy, i pretend that i don't already have opinions. then i see what i agree with.

yesterday i turned 19 and the cashier at the lcbo wished me a happy birthday. that was all i really wanted. brad called and got me drunk by 6 pm and the night turned into a throwing-up, cake-crumbs-all-over-the-floor, sticky-coffee-table mess. but that's how a 19th birthday is supposed to go. no complaints.

this morning as i walked back from an 8.30 class, afraid that i might throw up on the sidewalk, i was reminded that hard liquor isn't really for me. i've also been feeling like i need a break from weed for a little while. there are other things i could be doing and today my body and my head feel so destroyed that i just want to know what it's like to feel completely healthy.

school itself is lovely but the things people do for fun here aren't my favorite. keggers are disgusting, bars are greasy, and there aren't really other options. this weekend is right on time. i want to celebrate with my homies. october is here and it's going to be beautiful.

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